Don’t Do Me Any Favours

When someone is upset because they feel you are not appreciating something they are doing for you. Is that their issue or your wrong??

You want to go to an event and you could go alone but of course it would be better with company. You tell a friend where you’re thinking of going but don’t ask them to come because you know it’s not their thing. They volunteer and offer to go with you. You ask them if they’re sure … They say yes. So you think great and thank them.

This is my scenario. Now the friend says he feels like I’m not appreciating the favour he is doing for me! I never even asked this person to accompany me and they’re acting like I’m not grateful for something that I never asked for. I do appreciate him coming but if I knew this would be the result I would have said no it’s okay. He said he has put himself out financially for this event. I was not aware that was what he was doing. Yet somehow he has now made it seem as though I am being selfish and ungrateful. How did that happen? I’m not going to feel bad for accepting something he offered to do.

I just figured out what this is all about! He needed a favour the other day and I was a unable to do it. It was something I wasn’t able to do that particular day. Another day, I would have done it. He feels like he totally put himself out for me but I didn’t inconvenience myself for him.

My health has to come first and I was sick that day so I ended up having to go home at the end of my very long day and sleep. I’m actually a bit put off that he didn’t care that I was completely exhausted and wiped out along with being sick. Oh did I mention I had to get up early for something the next morning! I’m still recovering and my energy level is not back to normal. I still get tired easily, have fatigue and require more rest and sleep. Now it seems as though he was a bit inconsiderate and thinking only of himself.

Tomorrow is the event that we are going to. Hopefully I will enjoy myself as I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks. It’s taking away some of my excitement. We will see how tomorrow goes. I am not going to let him ruin my night!

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Sleepless in Toronto

Since coming back from Vegas last week I’ve been exhausted!! I came back Tuesday morning at 9am (delayed from 6am) so had no time to sleep before having a mammogram early that afternoon. The 1 hour drive in traffic to the hospital was brutal! I struggled to stay awake but no way in hell was I gonna fall asleep. Had some coffee as soon as I got to the hospital and made it back safe and sound. The mammogram of my right breast was not pleasant but after chemo, surgery and radiation it all feels easy. I came home and slept for several hours. Got up ate and went back to sleep.

The next 2 days I had to work. Again brutal!! I had to have more than one coffee each day. I’m trying to have no coffee so having to up it to 2 cups when I usually have 1 green tea is not a good thing.

Friday morning I went to my Rehab program, came home and slept for a couple of hours. Sooo happy that I didn’t have to get up early the next morning. Finally! Well I slept for 14 hours!! Who knew that was even possible. The crazy thing is that I was still a little tired a few hours after getting up. The fatigue after treatment is ridiculous. That night I slept for 10 hours and again was tired after being up for 5 or 6 hours. Last night I slept for 9 hours and of course 5 hours later was tired again. I did manage to go get some groceries. Came home and didn’t do much, I felt tired. It’s like exerting myself for a week is requiring a week to recover. Which means I’ll be extra tired until Friday. I’m working tomorrow so that’s just setting me back even more.

I should be asleep now since I’ve been tired for hours but I couldn’t sleep. How frustrating is that?! Exhausted but can’t sleep. Sleeping for 14 hours but still tired. What the hell?! SIGH … The fatigue makes it hard to have a normal life. I have to plan a lot more and yet a lot less gets done. I have to push myself to do everyday things. I sleep so much but yet I’m still tired most of the time. It can be really frustrating to not be able to do all the things you want to do but I’ve just accepted it. I am trying to exercise and eat healthy so that I can slowly get my energy back. I was told that on average it takes two years to get back to normal energy levels. Another year and a half to go.