What is up with this cold?! I’ve been sick since I had surgery! That was a month ago. The worst part is that every time I start to feel like I’m getting better I start to feel sick again and then I’m right back where I started. My throat is so sore today. It hurts to swallow. This has got to get better soon. I know this has been going around and people have been sick for a month but ugh enough already. I’m recovering from surgery and that’s more than enough. Had lots of cake and sweets this week because of my birthday … starting tomorrow I’m going to get back to healthy eating and trying to get enough sleep.
Other than being sick I had a nice day. My cousin came down to see me with her husband and kids. Took me out for birthday lunch and gave me a card and gift. That was sweet of them. I didn’t feel upset ring around her kids. Maybe because she doesn’t make it seem like all is perfect all the time. She’s real about it. Being a mother is great but there are also those moments that aren’t so great. She wouldn’t give it up but she doesn’t sugar coat things.
I’ve also decided that each week (or two) I will try to do something or change something. Like last week I started making the bed everyday no matter how tired I was. During chemo I wasn’t. Probably because I was in bed half the time! This week it has to be my eating. I’m going to keep a food journal to ensure that I’m eating enough fruits and vegetables. It’s hard when you’re not the one doing the groceries or cooking. My moms been great but she gets tired sometimes and doesn’t have or make the things I want. Birthday bad eating week is over.
Oh I still get angry when I think about my ex. I wish I could just let it go. I have no feelings for him but I want to slap him and tell him exactly what I think of him. I guess I never got that closure. I don’t know how someone could be so horrible. I’m so paranoid and jaded now. Oh well I guess that will fade in time. I need to focus on my health. I need to remember that feeling angry towards him isn’t helping me. I just want to be happy.