It’s early Tuesday morning and I’m on my way back from a weekend in Vegas. It was a great weekend! My cousins birthday. We flew in from different cities and met in Las Vegas to celebrate. Got there Friday afternoon and I was exhausted since I had the longest flight and biggest time difference. Not to mention that I’m recovering from treatment and getting over a cold. We were having so much fun the Friday night, that by the time we went to bed I was up for over 24 hours!! I should have left a few hours earlier and just gone to bed. I was beyond exhausted but part of me wanted to still be part of the festivities. Well the next day I pretty much slept the entire afternoon. What was I thinking?!?! Oh well it was Vegas and YOLO! (You only live once).
The party continued and on Sunday we had a cabana by the pool. My cousin and I were getting ready, putting on our swim wear. Her in a bikini and me in a bikini but wearing a cover up on top. Wearing a swim suit with one breast isn’t easy. I mean, I’m over the emotional part and it’s no longer traumatizing to look at myself but I’d still like to feel somewhat normal in public. No one wants to advertise that they’ve had a mastectomy. So I bought a padded bikini top from Victoria’s Secret and it’s OK. From far you can’t tell and although it’s not flat (because of the padding the cup holds it’s shape), there’s no cleavage on the left side. I honestly didn’t even care. I’m at the point where it is what it is and if someone if close enough and notices … oh well. I do however notice my cousins breasts and they look BIG! For a split second it makes me feel self conscious but then in an instant I’m over it. I thought ‘were her breasts always that big??’. I guess they were. I probably didn’t notice before because I wasn’t paying attention but now I’m staring at everyone’s breasts haha. Oh and I haven’t seen her in a bikini in several years. Maybe she just gained a bit of weight. Whatever, no big deal. I’ve somehow become very comfortable in my skin, when only 9 months ago I felt like an alien …
We are now going down to the pool and in the elevator my cousin says “I had surgery”. Being the clueless chemo brain fog girl that I’ve turned into I respond with “you got a breast reduction?”. She says “no I got implants”. Implants?! Omg!!! I think I said breast reduction because I cannot imagine having any sort of surgery unless it was necessary! And then I felt dumb for thinking she’d have her breasts reduced when she wanted that D cup! Wow!! At least I wasn’t imagining things when I thought her breasts looked big. I don’t even remember what I said after that. I think I was in shock and speechless. Especially since I have one breast and just went through hell.
We now get to the cabana where the rest of my peeps are. I’m hungry, thirsty and have a headache. I generally don’t drink but did have a few drinks the night before. It’s VEGAS! My other cousin said she had some Advil in her room. Her breasts btw also looked HUGE. Again it’s probably just me staring at everyone’s breasts. We went up to get the Advil and on the way back down she says “don’t tell anyone but I got breast implants”. WTF is going on?! Both of them tell me within an hour of each other and neither knows about the other one. I feel like I’m in bizarro world. Again I think I felt stunned and didn’t know how to respond. This cousin is a physician and went on to tell me they put the implants under her pecs and that’s the better way to put them in. I will ask about that at my next appt. with plastic surgeon.
Note: alcohol increases the risk of breast cancer. I don’t remember the exact amounts and by how much your risk increases. Will follow up with that info later.
Now back at the pool I relax for awhile. Order some food and then lay in the sun for a very short while. Afterwards I get into the pool. The water is warm and feels great!! The weather was perfect. I swim to the edge where my cousin and her friend are sitting, only to find out that the friend also has implants. I thought she might have as well. She’s super thin with decent size breasts. Our breasts are made up of a lot of fatty tissue and she has no fat on her … Hmmmm. The fake breasts did cross my mind but I didn’t think much of it, but apparently I should have!
I couldn’t believe that all three women I was with had implants. I’d like to know why they made that decision. I know I never would if I didn’t have a mastectomy. Maybe there environment, living in LA ANC Dallas … I really don’t know. That was crazy!! Between the four of us, there was only one real boob. How crazy is that?! That’s Vegas for you!