Breast Prosthesis … The not so fun shopping experience!

Last week after my support group at the hospital I went to the medical garment fitting shop. This was the day I was getting my prosthesis. I was fine with it. I know it’s temporary and I’ve also had enough time to mentally be prepared. Surgery was 6 months ago so emotionally having one breast (for now) isn’t as difficult as it was before.

I walked into the shop, where I had been before. I bought my compression sleeve there. I have not had Lymphedema but I was flying and got it as a preventative measure. The lady helping me showed me a few of their prosthesis … Some were silicone and others a lighter material. I thought to myself ‘I’ll get the lighter foam prosthesis aka fake breast, since it’s temporary until I have the reconstruction’. The lady who had previously helped me with the sleeve wasn’t there so the other lady assisted me. She brought me a couple to try on with a few bras. She looked at me and said are you an A-cup? I was almost offended! I said no I’m a 32C or 34B depending on the bra. Do my breasts look that small??? Guess I’ll be getting bigger implants than I thought! Haha.

While trying them on she said to me that my scar looked great and asked who my surgeon was. That caught me off guard, getting a sort of compliment on my scar! Lol. I asked what other people’s scars looked like and she said ‘you don’t want to know what we see in here’. Well that made me feel good that my surgery went well and scar looked good but also bad thinking about what other women have to deal with. I will definitely be using the same surgeon for next surgery. Back to the shopping … We put in an expensive silicone prosthesis and it seemed ok so I took it. Got home and tried it on again and realized it was slightly too big. Ugh! Now I’d have to go exchange it.

Went back today and tried on a few others. There are a few different kinds. I wanted to find something that felt comfortable and looked like the other side. After trying some spongy foam ones and another one I ended up back to the brand I had originally bought, but one size smaller. Looked perfect!

I left it on and felt so much better with two breasts (even if one wasn’t real). Less self conscious about the folded material in my bra moving around and maybe giving my breast a distorted look. With thinner summer clothing it’s been harder to make things look perfect. But the prosthesis has done the job! With the prosthesis the bras aren’t the demi lower cut bras I’m used to wearing so not sure how I’ll be able to wear certain clothes … I’ll find a way 😉

Do what you love!

My return to work has been postponed to the first week of July. My oncologist agreed that I’d need time to adjust to living in my own place. It will be a little tiring at first but I’m sure after a couple of weeks it’ll be fine. Then I can focus on going back to work. Which will also be very tiring at first. HR will be sending out a health care consultant to see how I’m doing and help with support and resources. The other reason is they also want to do their own assessment because I expressed that 12 weeks to full time seemed aggressive at this point. That’s the procedure they follow and it’s totally fine with me as I’m not lying about anything.

Part of me doesn’t want to go back to the job but the other part of me likes being downtown and it will give me a sense of normalcy. There’s a part of me that also wants to do something creative … I feel like this is a second chance at life. A wake up call to say ‘tomorrow is not promised and life is short’. Do what you love and what you’re passionate about. I’ve been mulling this over for years and am always jumping back and forth. So it ends up leading back to staying in my corporate job and not being able to commit as much as I need to and would like to, to what I really want to do.

This time I am going to make that change, one step at a time but I’ll do it. Life is short and I want to make the most of everyday. Don’t want to spend the second half of my life in a career feeling like I’m meant to do something else. The difficulty is there are a few things I’d like to do and right now I’m not sure which direction to go in. I’ll get there though … One day at a time. I’ll figure it out.

I believe that if you do what you love and are passionate about … All will fall into place. You have to believe in yourself, what you’re doing and persevere. Imagine life where your career is something you’re passionate about and love doing!