I’ve been feeling a lot better BUT I failed to realize that it’s relative. I’ve been feeling a lot better than I did a couple of months ago when treatment ended. Overall I’m feeling ok but there’s still quite a bit of fatigue and some joint pain. The neuropathy has gotten better! Woo hoo!
Mid April my case manager from work called and asked when she thought I’d be ready to return to work. Since I’m home most of the time, I didn’t realize how fatigued I’d be if I was actually doing a few hours of work, so I said a month and a half. This was also me thinking that I could work 12 hours a week for 2-3 months. WRONG! She went ahead and put together a standard return to work plan. This plan was very aggressive and once I had some time to think about it, I realized it was way too much for me right now. I also started doing a bit more doing the day to see how my energy level was through the day, end of day and day after. After doing that I was able to see how completely exhausted I’d get after a couple of hours. Realistically I may be able to work 2 days a week for the first month. I also didn’t take into account that I’m moving next week. Going back to work at the same time that I’m moving back into my own place is probably not a good idea. Being on my own in itself is going to be tiring for the first little while. My mom is close by but it will still be more taxing on me, doing more on my own. I also have to make sure I have time to prepare my meals and continue to eat healthy, along with stretching and exercise. Those things are my priority. Financially I’m fine so there’s no reason to rush back.
My oncologist will sign off on whatever I say I am comfortable with (I hope). HR is very aggressive and I need to make sure I assert myself and let them know if I’m not comfortable with their plan. I’m only 2 months out of treatment.
Right now I’m waiting for my oncologist to get back to me. I emailed her and asked her to OK deferring my return a few weeks due to my move. Hopefully she will agree and sign off.
The past 10 months have made me realize what’s important … My health, living and enjoying my life, being happy and the people I love. That also means spending my time doing things I enjoy. I don’t hate my job but I don’t love it. If it’s going to affect me in a negative way then I’ll have to leave. Right now it’s just the feeling of HR pushing me back to work before I’m ready.
We will see what oncologist says tomorrow …