Loft or no loft

Yesterday I was quite excited about this beautiful loft. This morning I had the meeting with the owner who had to meet his potential tenant before making any decision. I put on my wig and eyelashes and went to the meeting. The owner’s realtor was an older gentlemen and actually a bit arrogant. They had a couple of unreasonable clauses in the lease agreement. One being that no one can stay over for more than 24 hours?! Totally controlling who and how long my friends and family can stay with me!! Wtf?! He removed that clause but who even says that! Then beyond first and last month they wanted an additional 2 months deposit. That would be a few grand. Not cool. Then because my credit score was ok but not fantastic they wanted a cosigner. Seriously??? I own my condo and bought it myself. Truthfully buying the condo was less hassle. So as much as I loved the place I discussed with my brother and mom and decided not to take it. Oh and his realtor said that my realtor was doing me a favour. He also made it seem like they were doing me a favour. Implying that no one is going to rent to me because I am on disability right now and not working. I explained that I have money put away and am still getting paid. I should have shut it down right then and there but my brain isn’t as quick right now. Damn chemo side effects! I had to process everything after I came home. I’m not worried, I’ll find something else. And if it’s not a loft, it’s ok. Still haven’t sold my place so I’m in no hurry. I would just like to have my own space again but right now I need to be with my parents or have them very close by. My energy is still nowhere near back to normal.

I did feel good having the wig and lashes on, although I think I look better sans wig. Definitely love the lashes. Was wearing very long ones today 🙂 I do look and feel a lot better than before. My personality is slowly coming back. I’m laughing more than I used to. Actually for months I rarely laughed or even smiled. Now I laugh and smile most days. Sometimes I wonder if it’s the drugs or I’m just feeling better. Maybe it’s both. Regardless I’m glad. That feeling of depression and hopelessness is gone (for the most part). I still have moments where I’m scared or sad but it doesn’t derail or overwhelm me like it was doing before.

PS. Rolled up some material and put it in my bra this evening. Haven’t bought my prosthesis yet and had a dinner to go to. From the outside all looked normal. It worked and I looked fabulous.

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