My Happy Place

I’m emotionally worn down again. I was happy yesterday when I got the second drain out and then I got two wigs. I was feeling positive and a little happy again. Thinking about my future and what I was going to do once treatment was over and I was healthy again. Then it happened. My mother said something insensitive … I just couldn’t handle it. Do I just accept that she’s insensitive and doesn’t mean to be hurtful? The problem is right now I’m soooo sensitive and emotional I can’t deal with it. After that I was emotional and upset. All the positive happy feelings dissipated. Here I am now trying to pull myself up again. I hate feeling like I’m drowning. SIGH. I refuse to let my mother or anyone affect me like this anymore. Yes it hurts but I’m going to try to focus on getting better and make her insensitive comment(s) HER ISSUE and anyone else that says anything insensitive for that matter. On a regular day it wouldn’t be this hard but right now that’s easier said than done. All I can do is try.

My Happy Place …

On the beach looking up at the sky
The ocean in front of me clear and blue
The sand feels soft between my toes
I’m happy again, who knew …

The sun browning my skin
Feels so good even though it’s hot
I could lie here forever
In this very same spot

I see my house in the distance
Where I wake up each day
To look out at the ocean
It takes my breath away

It’s so calm and peaceful
I can paint I can write
Everything in my life is beautiful
I’m happy again, every single night …

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