I read a Forbes article titled “mentally strong people: the 13 things they avoid” compiled by Amy Morin (psychotherapist). Notes added by Cheryl Conner on how each applied specifically to an entrepreneur. I think these can be applied to everyone and really most of them we already know, we just don’t always do. The reason it caught my attention is because for the last little while I’ve been struggling with my past (one that cannot be undone).
So below is rule #7 in the list of things to avoid doing, that it seems most mentally strong people already do.
7. Dwell on the Past.
There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences- but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.
Now granted I’m going through breast cancer treatment so there is naturally going to be a lot of extra stuff going on in my brain. BUT I’m going to try my best to see what I’ve learned and use that to create a happier present and future. I do not want to waste anymore time thinking about things I cannot change or worrying about a future that isn’t here yet. Planning and doing things for the future is different than worrying about the future to the extent where it’s affecting you in a negative way.
That’s what I did when it came to wanting a baby/family. At 38 it started and by the time I was 40 it had started to consume me. By 41/42 I had gone over the edge! When I think back to all the moments in those 4 years that I spent worrying, feeling sad and depressed instead of living my life and being happy … It was so much energy and time wasted. The end result didn’t change. All that happened is that I spent more time than I needed to being unhappy and worrying. We are all allowed to have moments but that’s what they should be MOMENTS. I don’t ever want to allow that to happen again. I could have been living my life being happy and focusing on other things but instead the baby worry had taken over and was sucking the happiness outta me! NEVER AGAIN can I allow anything to consume me to that extent.