Chocolate Cake!

My brother and his wife moved into a new place and invited us over for lunch today. Even though I had a headache I went. Lunch was great, all healthy vegetarian stuff :). Then they got a chocolate cake to celebrate my last chemo treatment coming up on wed. That was very sweet and thoughtful and I really appreciated it. {LOVE}

The part that sucked was that I was depressed all day including after I got home … In part due to something my dad said. He has issues and I have to do my best to ignore them. The problem is right now I’m too sensitive and emotional so it’s extremely difficult. Sometimes I don’t know how to shake it. Then again it’s not something I can just shake off. Just have to tell myself that this is temporary and it will pass. I made it through almost 4 months … Have roughly another 4 months to go. So almost half way through. At times I just don’t know if I can make through living with my parents for another 4 months (mostly my dad).

I really want 2013 to be over. I do get a 1 month break before surgery. Have an MRI in there and a couple of consultation and follow up appointments. Maybe I can actually enjoy the holidays!

I wonder how much the tumours have shrunk? The MRI will tell me … Praying and keeping my fingers crossed for good news. The larger one in my breast is still there but i think it’s shrunk significantly.

The other thing I have to stop doing is reading stuff on the internet because it can be depressing. I joined an online support group but the women looking for support it’s because they are experiencing something negative (usually) so reading the responses just made me more depressed. It sounded like these women haven’t gotten back to normal which is not what I needed to hear. I know of other women who have gotten back to normal and I need to focus on me getting back to normal. Even if it’s a year from now since I don’t expect it to happen right away. I’m sure mentally, emotionally and physically it’s a process.

Going to meditate now. It seemed to relax me last night so will hopefully do the same tonight although I already feel quite tired. Maybe it’s the lorazepam I took haha.

2014 will be a better year. The start of the year may be rough but it will only get better!

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