Emotionally exhausted

This cycle is definitely going better than the last one (which was horrible). So that is a good thing! I think I’m feeling depressed being at my parents place and feeling like I have no life. I feel too crappy to go anywhere or do anything most of the time. I’m still crying all the time and half the time I don’t even know why. I guess everything is just overwhelming. My brain isn’t working. I’ve had conversations with people that I completely cannot remember at all?! Then when they tell me I think really???

I’m trying my best to just deal with being here but the clutter in the house and things being in disarray is getting to me. I try to remind myself it’s temporary but it’s very unrelaxing. Even my bedroom is kind of like that because I haven’t been well enough to unpack the clothes I brought over most recently. The previous clothes are hung up in the closet. I’ve felt a lot worse since last month. Hopefully I can get some stuff done next week. I wish I could get a designer/renovation crew to come and revamp the house. Especially the kitchen, bathrooms, family room and my room. I can dream … I miss my condo.

Having my eyebrows and eyelashes thinned out isn’t helping anything. Tomorrow my mom and I are going to get a wig. I better get some false lashes too! She wants me to go to her friends place with her tomorrow evening for a dinner party. I know them as well so it might be ok. I’m just apprehensive because I’m so emotional and so tired most of the time. I’ll see how I feel.

I’m thinking of talking to the radiation oncologist because I’m not 100% on radiation after implants. The upside is having only one surgery. It’s all very confusing. SIGH. 6 months from now this will all be over and things will be normal again.

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