2 months now

Wow it’s been exactly 2 months since I was officially diagnosed. This has been the longest 2 months ever. Well I have seven and a half weeks until chemo is over. I can get through this, I’m halfway there.

It’s also been a whirlwind of emotion. Anger sadness depression then gratitude and happiness but then more anger sadness and frustration. Then on the days I feel physically better I feel thankful and happy to be alive. I just want my normal life back. I’m in Mississauga with my parents. Haven’t lived at home since my late 20s but I can’t imagine being anywhere else right now. I’m so thankful I have my mom. I also haven’t been able to go out or see my friends. I’m also not in the city and I miss it. I have no social life and that part is hard. I want to go out and do stuff but I’m just so damn tired all the time. Until the last week and then I have to see what I can do in the one week. That part is frustrating.

My life has turned into eating sleeping and watching tv. I’m just too tired to do anything else. I have to try harder to remember that it’s only temporary.

I have to pack this week for my trip to Tucson and then Edmonton. Can’t wait!! At least that will be a great break from everything.

Oh and I usually cry everyday but have not cried the last 2 days. I think. Maybe I did cry yesterday. Chemo brain fog is real, I can’t remember things half the time.

It’s going to be day 12 tomorrow and I’m going to pack and do my errands and have a semi normal week.

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