Well it’s been almost a week after chemo #3 and I’m exhausted and my jaw hurts. At least the body aches from yesterday are better. It hurt just to be touched. Ugh. My left arm is still sore, the veins from the chemo. Also slight nausea but nothing too bad. Oh well it will eventually all be done. 3 more cycles to go. Halfway there. It’s emotionally and physically exhausting.
Then I’m also trying to manage other things in my life. Yes I still am trying to have a life. Listed my condo on the weekend but so far haven’t had to do anything. Did have a showing though! Also need to start packing for my trip to Tucson, then from there Edmonton. I’m excited to go but nervous to be travelling exactly a week after chemo #4. Well I’ll be tired and achy and decided to just ask for a wheelchair on the way there in case I’m too fatigued. It will be fine. My oncologist really wants me to go and said just take the drugs and go! I’m going to go and have a fabulous time. Once I’m there I’ll be fine.
Then there’s my social life or lack of one. I’m talking to a few guys but right now feel so wiped out I don’t feel like having a phone conversation with anyone. How do I do this. I don’t want to stop living my life and even more so now that I want to live and appreciate each day and each moment. BUT it’s tough because I have a week at a time where I don’t want to talk to anyone. On top of that when do I tell these guys I’m going through chemo?? Oh well I’ll tell them when it feels like the right time but obviously sooner than later. Right now I’m trying to just take things one day at a time. Thinking too far ahead is overwhelming. Right in this moment I’m exhausted and don’t feel like talking to anyone including my friends. It would be nice to be in a relationship but since I’m not who cares. My health and getting better is what’s matters right now. Men … Well if a good one comes along great otherwise who cares.