I finally start to feel better and then my mother has to come home and say something about what I’m wearing. She then covers it up by saying its because she’s worried that I’m cold. She is very religious and doesn’t like that what I’m wearing is short. I’m in the house with no one here!! Can I not just be comfortable?!?!
I’ve had such a frustrating day that I start crying again. I can’t take it! She then doesn’t know what to say or do because she doesn’t want to upset me but I’m now just angry and tired of being frustrated and emotional all the time. I’m already extra sensitive and emotional because of everything and she just doesn’t get it! I’m sure all this frustration is not helping me get better. BUT I’m still going to find ways to stay calm and get better no matter what. I’m starting by going back to the gym and working out, doing classes etc.
I thought about getting my own place close by but being alone feels worse and there are a lot of days where I’m too exhausted to do anything and truly need my mother. I am very thankful for her but these arguments are getting to me and I just can’t deal with it right now. Hopefully she will get better and it will all get better. I pray that it gets better.
I’m also a little frustrated not really being able to date and feeling like my life is on hold. Having this happen has made me want to make the most of each day which seems impossible right now. How do I do this. I read other blogs for people going through chemo and how they dealt with dating. Most said they felt the same way I did so they just dated like they normally would but with telling the person early on what the situation was. That’s what I’m going to do. I need to still live my life and do what I can. Being at home all the time and feeling like I can’t do anything is making me feel so much worse. Yes I will have a week or so where I feel like crap but then for the two weeks where I feel better I need to do the things I enjoy during that time. Isn’t that what making pink lemonade is … Playing the hand your dealt.